For young members of the LGBTQ+ community, representation in the media is extremely important in this day and age. The Kumquat has decided to profile six brand mascots who are open about their bisexuality, including punk rock legend The Bubble Yum Duck. These mascots are bold and #brave, and want to normalize bisexuality by reminding the nation that just like participating in #capitalism, being bi isn’t a choice!
Floyd D. Duck
“Blow your own bubble” is the saying of #bi-con Floyd D. Duck, who is an inspiration to bubble gum consumers in every town that didn’t inspire Footloose. His fashion taste is simply #im-peck-able, he is the first duck to ever receive a beak piercing, which, we are told is brutally painful and makes every single day alive a living #hell! His signature anklet is a tribute to the bisexual flag, sporting beads of pink, purple, and blue. Floyd’s relationships have been #verypublic, to say the least, after his dramatic breakup with the Aflac duck and then his off-and-on, very controversial relationship with Mother Goose. It seems, though, that he’s very happy with the Duck Tape duck as of 2018.
The BIC Boy
Don’t be fooled by his youthful name: the BIC boy, created in 1960, is actually 60 years old! Best known for his relationship with Mr. Sketch in the 80s, the BIC boy hasn’t had too much (positive) limelight in recent years. Mysterious, yet consistent, he has never revealed his face, but has revealed that he has been wearing the same outfit his whole life, which makes him easily recognizable. Speaking of easily recognizable, but more for, like, #criminal reasons, we can’t exactly call the BIC boy a #bi-con: he also revealed in 2019 that he had ended things after he realized his girlfriend was underage.
The Sun-Maid Raisins Sun-Maid
Don’t mistake her for Little Red Riding Hood: The Sun-Maid Raisins Sun Maid’s name may be a mouthful, but her mouth has never been more full of the PSL, if you know what we’re #talkingabout. But if you don’t know what we’re #talkingabout, we’re talking about the Sun Maid making strides with her new girlfriend, the Starbucks Mermaid. After a tumultuous relationship with Ronald McDonald, we can all tell the Sun Maid has made a choice to be a little bit healthier 😉 . Also, isn’t she totally serving us #cottagecorevibes?
The Kool-Aid Man
Oh Yeah! We’re all #drinkingthekoolaid in support of The Kool-Aid Man’s recent coming out (or, coming in: he made the announcement via Twitter by crashing into a tailor shop that provides a single service: permanently cuffing jeans). The Kool-Aid Man, who was married to the Nesquik rabbit back in the day, has announced that he is indeed a #bi-con: and doesn’t it totally make sense? The Kool-Aid Man doesn’t judge which walls he crashes into...but he’s truly the master of crashing into them. Speaking of #crashing, The Kool-Aid Man does have some #legalchallenges ahead of him, not similar to the BIC boy, but instead relating to property damage.
The Firefox Fox
The Kumquat is quite excited to profile this poetic, jaded soul. The Firefox Fox has had to endure some serious trauma: since he is a god watching over our blue planet, he must constantly be subjected to the crushing weight of time taking its toll on the human race, over, and over, and over again. But NASA satellite paparazzi has recently #spotted him with the #outandproud Energizer Bunny, who also seems to be from space. We can assume that this means his previous relationship with the Android robot is #over, but from the state of her social media, we believe that they ended things on friendly terms and there were really #nohardfeelings.
Snap, Crackle, and Pop
Previously thought to have belonged to the long list of cereal mascots who are openly gay (which includes, of course, members such as Count Chocula, Captain Crunch, and Buzz the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee), the Rice Krispies trio have recently made their bisexuality (and polyamory) public, and we couldn’t be more #proud. Also, points for #oldpeopledoingthings, right? This trio may be 84, but they’re not #slowingdown, according to their recent, slightly bizarre Twitter statement!