Every student living in the campus dorms has had to deal with the “Resident Advisor,” a member of a paramilitary organization tasked with the protection of private property owned by the Kent-led Syracuse bourgeoisie. While most foolishly open up their doors to be searched when the RA commands it, this is the dumbest fucking thing they could do. According to the 2nd Amendment, the NRA, and my crazy Uncle Ricky (recently killed in an unfortunate aquatic skeet shooting accident, bless his heart), I have the right to hole up in my dorm room with a sawed-off shotgun and exercise my God-given right to stand my ground.