Career Servicing ALL Your Needs

Career Services at SU has long struggled to get students to care about a single thing that they do, so this semester, they invested in a new marketing technique.

Student interns with Career Services are paid to go on dates with other students where they will promote the different programs that Career Services offers. 

“I got a raise last week for getting 10 new sign-ups for the Alumni match program! My go-to strategy is to talk about all the wonderful career advice alumni have to offer while he’s inside me,” says Amy, one of the most successful Career Services interns. 

Students seem to be loving this new marketing tactic, as described by Whitman junior, Todd: “I thought I was going to get lucky last weekend, and I did! I got my resume edited, my LinkedIn updated, and applied to 20 internships on Handshake, hooray!”

Riding the high of their overnight fame, Career Services also created a merch line selling T-shirts that say:

“I may never find love, but at least I got my resume evaluated with VMock!” 

“I went on a date on Friday, and all I got was my results to the Strong Interest Inventory” 

“My favorite sex position is Handshake™”

And “I’m a slut for LinkedIn!”

If you’re interested in having your own needs (career) serviced, or if you’re interested in becoming a prostitute for the good cause of career preparation, visit https://experience.syracuse.edu/career/ today.